#Judge #John #Hodgman #Candy #Stash
Christina writes: For years, I’ve kept some sweets hidden in a kitchen cabinet, out of the kids’ reach. Sometimes at the end of a long day, I just want a few bites of chocolate. But lately my husband Nate has been raiding my chocolate stash, finishing off whatever’s there. I don’t really care if he eats it, but he never replaces it. Please order him to do so.
You are both grown-ups. That means A), you don’t have to hide your chocolate. If your kids complain, just explain you get chocolate whenever you want because you’re closer to death. And B), Nate can buy his own damn candy. Find a better hiding place, and in the old spot, leave him a chipped mug full of black Necco Wafers. Sorry, Necco Wafers, you are the chalky candy of my New England heritage, and I’m glad Spangler Candy brought you back! The other flavors are fine, but the black ones? That’s the taste of punishment.